HWJL?
When it’s time to listen to people, however, we need to shift gears. We need to switch our emphasis from screening-out to dialing-in. Active listening is one of the most important skills you will ever develop. It dials-in your attention toward the person speaking. Good listening is a life-long pursuit, and you need to relentlessly give yourself to it.
Jesus was the best listener that has walked the planet. You can tell by the way He asked and answered questions. His questions often were laser-like, honing in on the heart of the matter. Yet, sometimes His answers seemed almost unrelated to the questions that were asked of Him. At first glance, He might have looked like He was missing the point, or that He wasn’t really listening, or that He didn’t value the question. But, soon it becomes apparent that His answers moved people to a deeper place of consideration of the Kingdom of God.
Jesus was never too busy to listen. He never “zoned out” in boredom, dishonoring the concerns or feelings of others. He was present, and He was focused. He was listening with the sensitive ears of heaven. We need to learn how to listen as He did. How Would Jesus Listen? Let’s use two simple questions to help us develop His listening skills.
To whom are you listening? It is very important to consider the person as well as their message. The person is the context of their message. Who is s/he? What does s/he value? It is important for you to “be present” with the person to whom you are listening. Connect with them; don’t just respond or react to what they say. We are relational beings, and much of good listening involves relating well to the one speaking. If you will take the time to understand and value the person sending the message, you are a long way down the road of effective listening.
For what are you listening? Sometimes we listen for what we want to hear; sometimes we listen for what we don’t want to hear. Good listening hears what the speaker is actually saying. Good listening takes time and requires effort. It asks good, exploratory questions – not in order to make a point, but in order to understand the intent of the one speaking. Listen for the point; listen for the heart; listen for feelings; listen for why the person is saying what they are saying.
We all want to be heard and known. Our first job, however, is to learn to be good listeners in order to hear and know others. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19) If you give yourself to listening to people and what they are really saying, you will be slow to speak and slow to become angry – Jesus will help you.
Learning to listen with you,
