A Gentle Word
When was the last time you felt riled up? Your answer might depend on your personality, or possibly how much unresolved “stuff” you have floating around inside you. Some people are ready to fight at a moment’s notice; others lay low no matter what seems to be happening around them – or even to them. But what’s the right response when someone aggresses you?
This morning I was running with our dogs (on their leashes), and one of them surprisingly brushed up against a walker as we passed her. She was with a group of people, which possibly emboldened her response. She yelled out, “Can’t you keep your dog under control?” Well, I tend to have a little of that “fighter thing” in me, so I was ready to lash out at her for her group taking up the entire path. But, I decided to simply keep running the last few hundred yards of my planned run.
I thought I was doing pretty well to bridle myself, but then felt the prompting of the Lord to go back to the group of walkers and apologize. So, I turned and walked back towards the group, not completely sure if I was going to verbally give them a beat down or be nice. (Don’t worry; I am not really as violent, even internally as this may sound.) As I came toward the yeller, her demeanor changed. She seemed embarrassed. And when I apologized, she all but melted right then and there, and thanked me for returning to say something.
The Lord instantly reminded me of Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Which would have been more satisfying, giving her a piece of my mind (judgment or anger) and maybe winning a battle, or seeking and experiencing a measure of general reconciliation through an apology? This time the latter was actually quite sweet.
Notice that the reconciliation of persons doesn’t happen through harsh words or through no words. It doesn’t come naturally to the fighters or the shy or timid folks in the crowd. Reconciliation and relationship often grows from a gentle word. “A gentle tongue is a tree of life.” (Proverbs 15:4)
You are most likely to respond best when you are centered in your relationship with the Lord, rested and in a spiritual posture of Kingdom awareness. Are you carrying any unresolved anger today that you could deal with before the Lord right now? Chances are that if you will take care of business now, it might well help you to respond well to the challenges coming your way a little later.
Building people rather than battles with you,
Pastor Tom
tgriffith@rolcboston.org
